Layer Cake

August has a way of kicking the shit out of me.

On the one hand, that’s not entirely a bad thing, when you think about it in a literal sense, cuz we all know I’m full of it; on the other hand, sometimes you just wanna kick back. Or at least I do. And I’m not talking kick back and relax—although, that’s a very good thing too and something I look forward to doing one of these days. But right now I’ve got on my boots.

4 years ago in the wee hours of what was Saturday night fading into Sunday, I watched Perseus’s meteor showers with my sweet Mikeyy after I found a lump (that felt like a shooter marble) in my breast that turned out to be cancer—which catapulted me into the crazy ass cancer chick that I am today.

3 years ago that night all I tried to do was keep my mind off marbles.

2 years ago that night my Redheads, a bunch of my friends, and I stood up to cancer and made this music video for SU2C’s “Up To You” Video Challenge. (Btw, my sweet Amanda got 4th place in the contest.)

Last year… I don’t remember… and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Last week I said goodbye to my Uncle Bill, after he finally got to kick back and relax and enter his rest after a long hard battle against cancer. When I was a kid my Uncle Bill used to be a demolition derby driver and I used to sing “Billy, Don’t Be a Hero” to him all the time. But he was my hero. And part of me grew up thinking he was the Energizer Bunny. Damn cancer.

A few days ago I watched my friend Mardy who sings like an angel, take her last breath this side of the lamppost, before singing her first note, face to Face, before the One she’d always been singing for. And, as much as I’m super freaking happy for her that she got called up to the big league choir in the sky… and I totally get it and don’t blame God one bit for doing so, because I’d totally want Mardy in the house if I was Him too… still… I’m going to miss her like crazy. Damn cancer.

That’s what I’m talking about when I say August likes to kick the shit out of me.

However, August is a tricksy one. It’s not like March, which actually sounds like a month that might be suiting up to kick some ass.

No, like a good book or, say, a coconut cake, August is all about the layers. And it’s all in how you slice ‘em.

At first glance you see the icing.

At first glance—or maybe first bite is more apropos—the first sound to roll off the tongue is the breath of fresh air produced by the first syllable: [Au]. I like to pronounce it like so: “Ahhh….” But please feel free to insert as many h’s as is necessary–whatever floats your boat and channels that inner peace. The “Ahhh…” is chased by a [gust] of wind from, well, the wind-pipes, of course. When you put it all together you pretty much get a gust of ahhhs. Kick back and relax kinda ahhhs. Sneaking a taste of the icing before you slice the cake kinda ahhhs.

Which brings us to Saturday night… 4 years later… or, 1,462 days, to be exact. Saturday night all I could do was thank God that I got to be there to wish upon those shooting stars before I headed off to chase sweet dreams.

They are my lucky stars.

They remind me that every single one of those 1,462 days have been like icing on the cake. And even if August likes to kick the shit out of me, the first thing I think about when I think about August is icing on the cake.

[And in case you’re thinking of sneaking a small smackerel of icing…beep… beep… beep… we interrupt this blogpost for an important message from our sponsor. Yes, this is just another friendly PSA from me. Please go check yourself girlfriends, cuz I luvs ya! And here’s my prayer as I lift a glass to y’all in cheers to your health: “May I always be the 1 in 8 whenever we are in a room together. Amen.”]


OK, so now we can dig into the layers of that cake.

August is a month of anniversaries for me.

  • 11th – the day I found the damn spot
  • 20th – the day my doctor said the C-word to me
  • 29th – the day I got “everything” off my chest, thereby causing TSA peeps everywhere mass confusion as to WTF is my gender

This August is also a big month for my book. I’m super freaking happy to announce that one of my favorite organizations, the Save the ta-tas Foundation, has featured my book in their August newsletter. This means more than I can ever adequately express. I don’t know if you know much about save the ta-tas, but if you know me at all, I’m sure you’ve seen me styling in my black save the ta-tas tank. If not just check out cartoon me on the back cover of my book.

Well, real me, actually bought said real life tank while I was writing Shaken Not Stirred… a Chemo Cocktail. I figured I’d make a pretty damn good billboard.

Here’s why I don’t mind being a billboard for them. Save the ta-tas tagline is “Having fun raising funds to fighting cancer since 2004.” Besides making t-shirts and etc. that made me lol when I needed it most, putting the fun in my personal fight against cancer, which is how I roll, they also are fighting cancer on the cutting edge by funding 5 real life superhero breast cancer researchers.


And here’s the icing on top of all that. After I bought that t-shirt, I wrote Julia Fikse, the founder of save the ta-tas a message thanking her. To my surprise she wrote me back. I mean, how many organizations with 300,000 fans on Facebook do you know who take the time to personally answer a FB message? Not only that, but she continued to encourage me in my fight against breast cancer with the writing of my book, which I hope puts a little fun in the fight like save the ta-tas has put into mine and so, so many others. Not only that, but she also read my manuscript and sent it back to me with notes and smiley faces. The copy I will always keep. Not only that, but she gave me permission to for my cartoon me to wear the real deal save the ta-tas logo on my tank on the book cover.


As a small way of paying forward the incredible debt of love and laughter I’m head over heels in for, I am donating 100% of my proceeds from August sales of my book to the save the ta-tas foundation.

So if you were wondering what to get me for my cancerversary… I’d love you forever if you bought a book and helped me pay it forward!

It’s currently available through Amazon, Kindle, Barnes & Noble, Joseph-Beth Booksellers, and Book Bums. If you feel like slathering on some icing on the cake for me, you can comment up my book on the web sites and request your bookstores to stock it.

And if you act now, by my book and email me your addy, I’d like to send you a little thank you note with one of my very special typographical error ridden SKAKEN NOT STIRRED (yes. they say skaken:p) bracelets. I only give these out to my most special peeps.

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