It’s been awhile since I posted here. My jam is usually Facebook cuz for me Facebook to Facebook feels about as close to face to face as virtual gets. But I also have a lot of fun on Instagram cuz I’m on the road a lot and I love sending a picture #postcardfromtheroad from here and there and everywhere my road leads. I’m also on Twitter but I’m not as consistent as I’d like to be on there cuz ADD. I get in a groove on there and then I see a squirrel and forget about it until another squirrel chases the little twitter-bird and leads me back. I’m also on Snapchat and think it’s superpower fun whenever I remember to click on the #friendlywhiteghost. I hope you will find me on those social mediums if we aren’t already connected there too. But hopefully you’ll find me here more these days, as I’ve been working to synchronize the spaces I hang out in on the interwebs, in order to put the emphasis on the social in my media. Cuz I’m here, there, and everywhere I go to connect. Otherwise, why bother? #amiright?!
Anyway, I posted this on my Facebook wall yesterday and it seemed to connect with so many of my crazy beautiful peeps, who don’t normally speak up, in a way that kinda took my breath away. It felt like a sacred space. That made me happy. I thought it was worthy of exploring. But then today on FB I’ve noticed so many people drawing lines in the sand and deleting people. Which feels like the opposite of the space I want to hang out in. I don’t see any point in preaching to “the choir” or hanging out with just the choir. Cuz I can barely sing anyway so most likely the line will eventually get drawn in the sand in front of me. And I’ve already been deleted by quite a few (I don’t usually notice these things until I see posts from peeps on deleting sprees and then I click on my own page just to see if I have any friends left, and am always so grateful for all my lovely peeps who continue to bear with me) just because of this scandalous post that I posted yesterday. In it I just basically asked for love and forbearance for people I love who are hurting, and for the kindness to weep with them just a little on the space I created for them on my wall. In this broken 2 party system, half our country was going to be disappointed no matter how the election shook down. I provided the same space as a human and on my wall last election when things went the other way for people I love on the other side of this broken 2 party system.
Because something I knew in my head but that got engraved on my heart and soul while I was walking through the valley of the shadow of death that cancer was, or at least, the things other people did that meant the most to me, as far as helping love me through it was this: 1. Show up. 2. Share in—NOT try to fix or take away— my suffering, with me, by holding space for me, letting me experience what I am experiencing and feel what I am feeling. 3. Offer up. The things they offered that meant the most to me was themselves. Their presence even if they didn’t know what to say cuz the truth is there is no one-size-fits-all “right” thing to say. But a simple loving presence can say everything that needs to be said. Their 2 eyes to see me, and to be a witness to my life, even this very hard part to watch and it makes their eyes leak a little. That’s OK cuz we both have 2 arms to comfort one another and hold on for both our dear lives with. Their 2 hands and feet to help out with practical things I couldn’t manage but especially with my Redheads. But also and especially their 2 ears which were generous to listen first and their one mouth which was gracious to let the ears do most of the talking. And last but not least, remember. I know you cannot stay in this space with me but please don’t forget me or that I’m still here. 4. Prayer, positive thoughts, pixie dust, good vibes, #goodjoujou …any healing words somebody I love sends me to say they are with me in spirit and loving me from afar when we can’t be near.
That is why I got out of bed yesterday, and the kinda the space I was trying to create on my wall, and why it felt so sacred to me. So today I thought I’d repost it here, to just put this out there in a wider space beyond my FB wall, where maybe I don’t know as many peeps, but at least there are not so many lines in the sand and walls. And maybe somebody who needs somebody to weep with them will hear me weeping with them.
[Note: This is my wall. My space. I try to curate this space, my space, to hold space for myself and others who could use a little love and encouragement. It’s an occupation in my life that I take super sinceriously. I say this because I am begging everyone to respect not just me but those I love who are hurting today. I am holding space here and in my heart for them (and myself) today. So please have mercy and be kind in this space, my space. Or just scroll on by like I do on other’s own pages, their spaces, when I don’t feel the space they are curating, holding, is for me. #scrolldonttroll #belikethumper#bekind2016]
I feel very sad today. And disappointed. And discouraged. Sad and alone. A tiny blue dot. I did not vote for walls and other things that separate us and keep us apart because I believe we had one job and that was to#loveoneanother and, for me, that means building bridges not walls. With my vote, I stood up for people I love, and bridges, and against a bully, all the while getting bullied by other people I love who don’t look into the eyes of some of the people I love, and sometimes it feels, to me, like they don’t care to. I was with her, and I am not ashamed to say that even though I haven’t wallpapered my wall, this space, my space, with campaign stickers and sound bytes. Even though many have tried to shame or silence me by drawing inferences from the times I’ve stood up for those I love who are hurting. Like the 9 million women who spoke their truth and said #notokay. For them, for all the women fighting the good fight against misogyny, for my#metavivor friends who are alive because of Obamacare and worried about becoming just another #preexistingconditions again, for all the#blacklivesmatter cuz they matter to me, for my LGBTQ peeps, for my Muslim brothers and sisters, for the Syrian refugees and the Statue of Liberty which mocks them, for Viva Mexico on the other side of the President elect’s wall, for my Redheads and the world they have stepped out into, for my Grandson #taranthewonderbaby and the world he recently entered. For all these people I love, and others I may be emotional and accidentally neglecting to mention, I tried to be love and do love when I used my voice, cast my vote, voted my truth. I voted love. I hoped love would trump the hate and fear. I believed love would win. I still believe #lovewins but today this#lovewarrior is a little weary. I know this circus of an election was about many things. I can and have respected many of those things on, not just both sides, but all the sides. I watched all the debates, news channels, and all the opinions of my crazy beautiful tapestry of peeps. I’ve truly tried to understand all the sides because I have people I love on all the sides. It’s about the people, my people. Not. the sides. I believe in bridges. I don’t believe in walls and I truly didn’t believe my country did either. I truly don’t believe this is #wwjd. That makes me sad to my core, methinks, because, well, he is my core. And yet, it’s been leveled at me that I’ve been brainwashed or have come to my view lightly. I’ve been accused of compromising my Christianity because I have a different view of what is pro life. All I can say to that is: here’s my other cheek. So, even though my wall, my space, is not normally political, it is, I hope, about being love and doing love and sometimes doing love is standing up for those I love, knowing that it’s gonna get me knocked down by other people I love. I do feel knocked down today. But I know I’ll get back up cuz love. And in the meantime, while I’m down here, I’m gonna lay me down real flat, like a bridge over troubled water, so as not to be confused with a wall of any kind unless it’s a#tecatewall, holding space and sending out love to all of my peeps who are hurting today.