Out Damn Golf Ball…in other words #FORE!

[Cross-posting this update from my FB status, which is a little health update.]

Was getting ready to post an update about a recent “interruption” to my health this fine lazy Sunday mornin’ and I caught this update from my friend Suleika Jaouad and her ridiculous adorbs bff Oscar in re: her own recent “interruption”. Thought it was pretty spot on with my own circs, minus the lyme disease and add a golf ball.

So here’s the scoop on my interruption aka #damngolfball:

Recently I had routine scans on an ovarian cyst my gynecological oncologist has been keeping tabs on, with the intention of removing it come winter. It seems that since my last scans in March, the cyst has doubled in size (along with the left ovary it’s attached to, and my uterus–sorry if that’s TMI…but once I had a scan that said my uterus was “unremarkable”…and I just wanted to set the record straight once and for all;). Anyway, so basically the cyst has an inflated ego, having gone from nickel to a golf ball size. I’d like to stress that it still looks to be just a cyst. Hulking out and throwing a fit. Which means the ball is literally in my court. Which means it’s #myturn.

So here’s the game plan:

Tomorrow (Aug. 3 at 1:30pm) we are saying #FORE to that damn golf ball. I’m having a hysterectomy/oopherectomy/thewholeshebangectomy. Just taking care of ALL the biz. I don’t feel like keep dealing with these potential ‪#‎fuckcancer‬scares. (In a way, it’s going along with my decluttering phase in our recent downsizing from the full quiver of the Evanshire to our empty nest aka The Love Shack. I’ve been working through a book called The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up to help us streamline from a quarter of century of marriage, homeschooling for 16 years, and from 3500 sq. ft. to 1000. One of the principles in fitting into this new best nest is that we can only keep the things that bring us the greatest joy. This golf ball is NOT bringing the joy. And I don’t require the services of my ovaries and uterus any further. So they must go, along with so many good books that we just took to Half Price the other day. Except I got $56 for the books, which I traded for some Vinyl records. I will not be trading in, upgrading, or replacing the golf ball or any of the other parts. ‪#‎gonegirl‬)

My oncologist feels pretty good about things not being cancer, so that’s the story I’m sticking with, too. Of course she will biopsy everything and make sure everything’s groovy, but there’s no reason to think it’s going to be anything but a damn golf ball of a cyst. I’m good with the game plan. Not looking forward to tomorrow. #shakennotstirred a little, not gonna lie. Not looking forward to being benched from running, which is my chief stress management technique. But it will be good to get that damn golf ball the hell outta me, which will literally eliminate some stress. So hopefully it all evens out.

The “interruption” has seriously been the hardest part for me to swallow. I had planned on having this done in January, when I didn’t mind being sidelined from running for 6-8 weeks. I. LOVE. Summer. Even running in the heat. Winter is my discontent. Running in the Brrr… freezing cold is NOT. my. fave. So I’d already wrapped my brain around the surgery. Just not STAT.

I have what WAS a very full to bursting upcoming schedule:

  • training for a marathon in November #monkeywrench
  • a trip to Denver to see my sweet Amanda NEXT FRIDAY:(
  • my 7 year cancerversary celebration/Dave’s & my 50th bday Hawaii 5-0 holiday that was supposed to be at the end of August
  • an upcoming Grace project road trip in September that I am cleared to go on even if I won’t quite be 100% YET

I threw a pretty big damn pity party for myself about it all the weekend the golf ball threw down the gauntlet. But now we have a good game plan and I’m getting ready and getting set. Getting both the proverbial and literal houses in order. Got prayed over at church last night. Fasting (liquids–Doc’s orders) today. Got flying colors in my hair. And gonna ‪#‎runhappy‬ ‪#‎runfree‬ ‪#‎runwhileican #chasethesunset one more time tonight before I carpe the diem out of the sidelines tomorrow. Surgical scrub after. Coffee before midnight (to stave off a headache on top of everything else tomorrow.) Chased by a glass of wine to keep balance in the force.

Please pray my veins work tomorrow. They weren’t cooperative at the pre-op testing last Wednesday. My right arm and hand are both a little beat up from it all, so I have a little anxiety about the nurse getting stuck trying to stick me again. Also obvi, pray it is just a cyst.

A lot of peeps have asked if there’s anything they can do. I don’t exactly know yet. But I do know that as soon as I am up and at ’em, I’ll be good to go to WALK not run, but advance token to the nearest marathon—which I’ve already registered for this coming November. #themarathontrainingmustgoon… So I’ll be filling up my dance card with walking partners, if you are local and fancy a walk with me. Also, since the Love Shack is on the 3rd floor, I wouldn’t mind the encouragement to get down the stairs to the mailbox, if you wanna drop a postcard or a snail in the mail. The addy is P.O. Box 882, West Chester, OH 45071.

Thank you, all you crazy beautiful peeps for basically being LOVE, and for all the kind words and texts and messages and phone calls. I know I’m pretty much the luckiest girl and feel like the gratitude I feel for y’all is probs one of the coolest superpowers I got in the arsenal. ‪#‎thisgirlisonfire‬ So thank you. _/_

I’ll update here/FB/Instagram/Twitter/Tumblr ASAP.

Cheers and love and thanks again,



  1. CMSmith says:

    I had the whole works removed last summer for a similar reason. It happens to a lot of us without ever having anything to do with the c-word. Try not to sweat it. Good thoughts coming your way.

  2. Auntie Barb says:

    Love and EXTRA prayers coming your way, Julie, from Jeff & I- Praying for Dave and the kids as well, as they support you thru these next days and weeks, as you heal. Love you! xxooxx ps- God’s got this….and you, and He’s in control & has the best plan for you!

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